Damned Dirty Apes

Far West

2009-06-30T19:50:00.002-04:00

We went on vacation to the *ahem* far end of Virginia. Are there Dirty Apes there, you ask? You betcha!

From the chair lift at Natural Tunnel State Park, we could see that some croc-wearing tot got just what he deserved!

Son of a Bench

2009-03-22T20:47:00.006-04:00

The Wetlands. Aside from the rampant leash law breaking, the place is quite clean and pleasant. We were hard-pressed to find major litter, but eventually some big ape chunks bubbled to the surface.

So what level dirt ape tosses the bench into the river? The young boys playing pirates or the big "adult" mooks that like to see the splash? Stupid apes either way.

This was rather baffling. Not close enough to the river to justify a downstream cruise, not close enough to the parking cul-de-sac to justify some monkey tossing the ruined spare into the swamp. Yep, you guessed it, either way, still a dirty dirty damned ape!

Great Backyard Trash Count

2009-02-21T08:15:00.007-05:00

Last weekend, we joined the Richmond Audubon Society at Dutch Gap for the 12th Annual Great Backyard Bird Count. We counted a lot of great species of bird, the bald eagle for instance:

We also counted a lot of lousy species of damned dirty ape litter. Here are a few:

So all the bottles dumped in the river by monkey boaters, chimp fishers and all around ape jerks seemed to get collected here. No, monkeypoo, this is NOT nature's garbage strainer!

Some ape family bring their kids' plastic rideable oversized toy truck along for a litter tailgate party? Clean it up!

A little Volunteering does a lot of good

2009-01-20T21:59:00.007-05:00

The title sounds corny, we know, but on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, a call to volunteer was asked. We took it more as an opportunity to clean up one of our many beautiful parks in the city. The one that was targeted for the event was the Slave Trail / Anncarrow's Landing Park. We arrived at 9am, ready to go. No one was there and we began to wonder. Then we saw this:

Some monkeyface leaving a diaper and shattered beer bottle for the fish?

So we started with a grocery bag, picking up in a spot, hoping others would show. They did! Almost immediately, about 40 volunteers all joined in picking up trash, trimming back trees and mulching the area. It was a great success!

Before:

After:

With volunteering, a difference can be made. So get out there every so often and pick it up!

Spongebob Trashpants

2009-01-19T07:30:00.003-05:00

Sorry, we have been on hiatus from this a while...holidays and winter weather, we haven't gone out much. Litterbugs, however, are a 24 hour a day problem.

Anyway, this was from a walk to Belle Isle a little while ago:

Hey monkey fling, ducks are actually smart enough to know that the water bottle is NOT another duck, so quit trying to introduce some kind of trash to them!

This is NOT what humans call a shoetree, you ape head.

And finally, what the hell is the story with THIS? Did some monkeyface leave their little one too close to the river edge? Or was this some kind of contest to see which monkey could roll their stroller into the river the furthest? Spongebob would NOT be amused. Stupid ape!

Out West

2008-10-12T17:31:00.007-04:00

Goshen Pass, "the loveliest spot in Virginia," and the commonwealth's "oldest state-managed natural area," drew us a little south of our recent vacation destination, but we figured it would be worthwhile. Our first good look around came at a roadside pull off, which was clean enough -- as long as you didn't glance over the stone wall.

The next day, we started out on a short hike to see some natural chimneys. The way was steep for a while, with a lot of smallish storm-toppled trees across the trail. Then it became flat and mossy and lovely -- except, there was rather a lot of scat, which we couldn't identify. Off the trail a little ways, we noted this rather old beer can. Then we met a bear.

I'm not saying the two are connected.

So we backed off Tower Hill and headed up the road to another hiking spot. There, we found this. "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" Well, obviously not, "Pick up after myself."

Tales from 42nd Street Island

2008-09-08T20:52:00.004-04:00

Labor Day weekend, we visited a nice spot, 42nd Street Island. Too bad the dirty filthy monkeys got there first with their nasty bits!

Okay, Ape Dum-dums, don't even try and blame the ducks for the Yuengling!

Stupid monkey left his plastic lunch trash under the bridge. There was a receptacle only a few yards away.

So the trained monkey with a dog has sense enough to bag the poo, but I guess the instinct to fling dung kicked in and it wound up in a tree! Foolish ape!

So on our way out, crossing over the pedestrian bridge, we see a nearly finished bag of peanuts next to some pretty appropriate graffiti. Well, F you too, monkeyboy!

Cool Project

2008-09-08T09:03:00.003-04:00

Late on the posting of it, but let's hope more happens with this. They clean up messes like this:

Right on!

http://www.richmondartsinthealley.com/

The emancipating power of pride

2008-08-31T08:50:00.005-04:00

Richmond Boat Ramp (Ancarrow’s Landing) area.

A place with lots of history, now it has lots of fishing and lots of littering. A-hole Apes apparently can't find the time to clean up the river they take so much "pride" in. Nice move, monkeys!
(photo submitted by Wendy McClary)

Stinking Apes dirty up old C.C.C. Camps

2008-08-18T08:27:00.004-04:00

We go to Pocahontas State Park for some delightful kayaking, a bit of walking, and a visit to one of only two Civilian Conservation Corps Museums in the United States, only to be insulted by littering apeheads throwing their filth around.

You try to read a sign when you notice a big heaping pudding cup blending into the scene on the left like it BELONGS there. Yeah right ya puddin' head ape!

Obviously some ignorant ape has no idea what the C.C.C. were about, maybe if they could READ....like that sign back there. Dumb-O Monkey!

Back during the C.C.C. days, when there was dispute between two people, they always took it to the boxing ring to resolve it. If the C.C.C. boys saw what these dumb monkeys were doing to their hard work and labor to provide a nice natural park, a whole lotta stupid monkeys would be getting a whooping in the ring! Monkey Meat!

Peaks of Dirty Apes of Otter

2008-07-23T20:03:00.006-04:00

So your humble servants went to the Peaks of Otter and we enjoyed this hazy yet beautiful view:

But despite our serenity, guess who followed us? Those damned filthy litter-monkeys!
Let's start with the story of a little styrofoam cup that never quite made it to the trash can. We saw it here first, sitting on the sill of the old cabin at the top of Sharp Top Mountain:

A little while later, some gorilla must have picked it up and played with it some more then strewn it near some signage, which is surprising that they could even read to know how to get back down the mountain! Stupid monkey!

We also found that some senseless bipeds must have a real difficulty distinguishing trash receptacles from a lot of other things in nature, say hollow tree stumps.

Apparently this area has an epidemic of this, spot the cola can!

Those ignorant damned dirty apes!

Humor (Litter-Related)

2008-07-18T16:41:00.005-04:00

Dirty Apes raid Kiptopeke State Park!!!

2008-06-27T19:57:00.003-04:00

You bad BAD little filth-mongers! Here are five pictures from the visit:

Some random soda can tossed on the Boardwalk, romantic for poo-throwing apes doesn't me WE want to see it on our lovely walk. Can you see it there to the right? We sure could!

Juice in a bag with SUN in the label certainly is not invitation for baby chimps to try and give trash a tan.

Styrofoam, monkey-types LOVE to break off chunks of the stuff from their dollar store coolers to fling instead of their poo I guess.

Um, hey Link, ya left a fork in my VIEW.

Natural in the label is a lie ya stupid gorillas! Hey, you'd think if we can train dogs tricks, maybe we could teach these dumb monkey tools to pick UP trash instead of DUMP it!

Fountain Lake Seized by Monkeys!!!

2008-06-09T17:47:00.005-04:00

Littering monkeys that is! It's a hot day for the ice cream jerk at Fountain Lake 6/9/2008:

Nature Valley wrappers are NOT natural, even if it's oats n honey, ya granola chimp.

Um...DoritNO, monkeyboy!

Fountain Lake Mermaid? I think NOT! Your first clue, silly little ape, is that mermaids do not wear clothing; especially ratted out workout pants with elastic waists!

LoveLand, my eye!

2008-05-26T07:57:00.004-04:00

Tredegar area, parking lot near the footbridge.

Hey Loveland cupsucker, it's RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Drunk monkey!

(photo submitted by Scott Burger)

W.W.J.L.?

2008-05-18T17:03:00.008-04:00

On the bluffs of Henricus Historical Park.

Where would Jesus litter? Sorry J. this bluff is taken by some Chik-Fil-a milkshake lovin' monkey. Trashcan was less than 10 feet away! Now THAT'S a miracle!

Bears don't want your Tupperware

2008-05-13T09:17:00.006-04:00

Bear Creek Lake State Park, Cumberland, VA:

So you're sitting on this rock fishing and reflecting, enjoying a cool drink from your sturdy green plastic cup that you bought especially for camping. You made sure it was big enough to hold two cans of Old Mill at a time so you wouldn't have to keep going back to the cooler. Well, numb-nut, you left it behind! Dumb monkey.

Coolers are not Bigfoot

2008-05-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

Hey winner, you must be a real fishing champ to let this one go overboard! Kind of a Bigfoot photo as it was across the river and impossible to get to or salvage. Way to go, Homo sapien!

Camouflage? I Think Not.

2008-05-04T16:56:00.000-04:00

Just because it's green, it doesn't mean you can leave it behind.

First post, on a mission.

2008-04-27T17:07:00.000-04:00

Maybe we'll delve into the manifesto some time in the future, but right now the mission of this blog is to show through our outdoor adventures, litter. We can call it something clever like: Litter in Nature or Walden's Litter or WHY MUST PEOPLE SUCK! So, here goes...

Belle Isle 4/27/2008:

What genius drinking the Jones Soda and the Starbucks Big Gulp can't see the trashcan on the way BACK from chugging on the rocks? Lazy Ape!